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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

dreams that aren't sweet

I had the weirdest dreams this morning. I don't want to talk about this but it really freaks me out.

Anyhoo, I had several dreams and I can only remember the last two.

One is on a church wedding setting. I'm the bride and Adam is my groom. After he has said his vow, I replied with "I do" and everybody laughed. Needless to say, I was embarassed.
Next setting, the whole walking down the aisle was repeated and we're about to exchange vows again when Adam's mother made a scandalous disagreement regarding our wedding. She said that the Adam I was marrying was not really his son Adam and the Adam I know. That Adam is just a man of the same looks but not really related to any of us. A doppelganger, I suppose.

My last dream was about Juju. This was the most painful dreams I ever had and is somehow similar to his previous dreams.

The setting was on the road heading to Aplaya with the long rice fields alongside. It was dark and no one was in the area except for the two of us. We're walking when suddenly a man riding a motorcycle (the type goons in the movies use) stopped in front of us and pointed his gun to Ju. At that moment, I know the reason and the person behind that. Then more 'goons' arrived and cornered us. Then the first goon shoot Juju. I ran and went to Airish's house to get help and ask my mother if she has an idea about it but everyone there seems knowledgeable of the incident even if it has just happened a few minutes ago. No one cares and everybody's busy about their own businesses. I was crying all throughout. Airish and I are walking towards the dark road when I woke up and the dream was cut.

I woke up crying with tears running on my temples to my ears and after the whole 'dream' has sunk in, I smiled out of the realization that it was merely a dream.

my interpretation

My family wants a man for me(in this case Adam),hence, the marriage. I never wanted to marry him and it was never really meant to happen. Everything is messed up. Doppelganger, the setting, the vows, etc.

I love Juju and left the whole wedding thing for him and my family is enraged by that fact. And that's where the killing sprouted.

Everybody doesn't want us together so as I grieve, people dont care and are actually in cloud nine.

And as I was about to see Juju's corpse, I suddenly woke up, giving an end to the story which in my analysis either signifies the end of me not seeing him again or that it was just a dream and even if reality is even harsher, I am in control of things and I better 'wake up' and confront our problems.

the root

I am not wondering why these dreams popped out. Last night, I was contemplating on what I should do and it was just answered through such bad dreams. Sometimes, things should really be learned the hard way.

It happened in a dream, at least.

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